official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
