I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
