Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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