I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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