Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
