is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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