The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
