Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
