So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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