i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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