I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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