how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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