Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
