Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
