I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
