Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
