Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I can't turn off my feet"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
