forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
