Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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