Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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