Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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