i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
