too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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