Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
