the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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