Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
