on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
