I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
