he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
