I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
