I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
