you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
