Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
