I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
