are you still at the devil's house?
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Houston, we have a blender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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