I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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