im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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