JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
