Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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