i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
