She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
