Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
