You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it glows. i had to have it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
