marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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