does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Less talking, more tequila
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
