I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
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im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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