kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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