fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
