I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
