Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
