so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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