id be glad to
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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