So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
