I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
