I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize