Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
