out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
