I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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