that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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