i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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