Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize