I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
