Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
