SEEEEXXX PLEASE
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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