I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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