Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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