Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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